Seven Thngs Happy People Do Often

 

Happiness: everyone is in pursuit of it, yet it is the one thing that eludes so many. There is good news and bad news on the search for happiness. According to an article written by Jeff Haden, fifty percent of your level of happiness, or your ”happiness set-point” as he calls it, is largely hereditary and is therefore out of your control. However, the good news is that fifty percent is within your control and there are things you can to make yourself happier. In fact, Haden lists seven things in particular you can do to improve your level of happiness.

1.     Make good friends.

 A lot of people concentrate on making friends at work and that makes sense. These are people you see every day, you have your workplace and careers in common and you can help one another accomplish your goals. However, you also need to make real friends, away from your work place. In fact, studies have shown that the more friends you have, the happier you are.

2.     Actively express thankfulness

Study after study has shown that being grateful and expressing gratitude contribute to happiness. This expression of gratitude can be done anywhere and everywhere: at your place of employment, in your relationships at home, and with your friends. Another way to express thankfulness, and reap the happiness benefits of doing so, is to simply write down a few things you are grateful for each evening. Being aware of the things you are grateful for increases your level of happiness.

 3.     Actively pursue your goals.

In his book “100 Simple Secrets of the Best Half of Life”, David Niven says that people who could identify a goal they were pursuing were more likely to feel satisfied with their lives and more likely to feel positive about themselves. So, be grateful for what you already have, but try to achieve more. As you edge closer to your goal, compare where you are now with where you were a few days ago, and be grateful for the advancement.

 

4.     Do what you excel at and do it often

It only makes sense that the more you enjoy what you are doing, the happier you will be. Shawn Anchor, in his book “The Happiness Advantage”, says that when volunteers did something they were very good at and did it every day for a week, they became happier. Of course, we can’t all do the things we love to do all the time and ignore the rest.  We can, however, change things so we do less of what we don’t like and more of what we do like. Find ways to do things you love more often and you will be happier.

5.     Give

I know I’ve written about this before, but giving is one of the best ways to find happiness and contentment for yourself. Giving is more beneficial for the person who is giving than for the person who is receiving. This act is something you control and because of that, it is one way in which you can control – and increase - your level of happiness.

 

6.     Don’t chase possessions, chase experiences

 

Possessions are only “things” and only provide bursts of happiness which do not last for long. You will be much happier chasing experiences instead such new locations to visit, new concerts to listen to, or meeting new people. Those experiences will bring you joy every time you think about them and will never become “old” such as a house or a car or even clothes will.

 

7.     Live the life you want to live

 

People who work in palliative care often say that the most common regret expressed by patients is that they did not have the courage to live the life they wanted. Instead, they lived the life people expected of them. So, as much as possible, live the life you want and live it your way. Making choices that are right for you will make you happier.

 

Doing these seven things won’t make all your problems go away nor will they create only sunny skies in your world.  They will however increase your level of happiness.  So give them a try and see what happens. Doing what you can to be the happiest you can be . . . it's a good thing!

The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” This quote from Anne Frank reminds us that giving to others is really a gift to ourselves. It’s important to remember this, not only at the giving times of year such as Christmas or birthdays, but throughout the year. It’s also important to give to people you may not even know, not only to family and friends. Giving to people, especially to people you don’t know, makes one feel good. Saskatoon’s own Betty-Ann Heggie, a member of Canada’s Top 100 Most Powerful Women Hall of Fame, says that giving gifts to worthy causes and people, “make me feel good because I am doing good”.

Now there is scientific proof that generosity will not only make you happier, but is actually good for your health.  According to a study conducted by social psychologist Liz Dunn, not being generous and being ashamed of it, is linked with higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol.  Through her studies she found that when people chose to keep their money rather than share it, they felt shame which led to high cortisol levels, which in turn has been linked to illness.

Even better, researchers at the University of Buffalo found that giving and being unselfish seemed to lead to a lower risk of early death.  One of the researchers, Michael Poulin, PhD said “Our conclusion is that helping others reduced mortality specifically by buffering the association between stress and mortality”. 

In their book “Why Good Things Happen To Good People”, Jill Neimark and Dr. Stephen Post, claim that giving protects your physical and mental well-being. They wrote this book because they believe that giving is a good for you! Post and Neimark claim that giving protects your physical and mental well-being. Their theory is that while you can’t change the things that happen to you or the unkindness of others, you can create your own happiness and take care of your health through acts of generosity. What a concept!

How interesting there is now a science of love and giving. In their book, Neimark and Post offer real-life stories to show how giving leads to health, happiness and a longer life. The incredible research includes a fifty-year study which shows that people who were generous and giving during their high school years have better physical and mental health throughout their entire lives. As with the University of Buffalo’s findings, the Neimark and Post studies show that people who give live longer than those who don’t. Neimark and Post interviewed dozens of people who had suffered unimaginable fates including paraplegics, Holocaust survivors, and people who had had horrific childhoods. Those survivors who found a way to help others overcame their hardships, and lived happier, more fulfilling lives than survivors who were not as generous.

We can make our own happiness and the best way to do so is by being generous to others.  It is now a researched fact that giving to others, even if life has dealt you a difficult blow, will make you happier and healthier.  Generosity is truly the best gift you can give to yourself. Being kind to others and being kind to yourself . . . it's a good thing!

 

A Little Mystery

 

When I was growing up on our family farm, one of our neighbors, Ronny, was a bachelor who lived by himself in the house that had once belonged to his parents.  By the time I was about half-way through elementary school, he met and married a widow with two children, and went on to have two more children of his own.

Ronny was the kind of neighbor you could always depend on to help out, no matter what.  It seemed to me that he was always happy and in a good mood.  There was always a lot of laughter when he was around.  He went out of his way to get along with people and tried to avoid confrontation.  In high school, I spent part of a summer babysitting his step-children and discovered that along with being a good neighbor and friend, Ronny was a good step-dad.  Later on when he had his own children, he took on that role with the same love and gusto that he put into everything he did. 

Years later, when I had children of my own, Ronny was their bus driver and I entrusted my little treasures into his care every morning and every afternoon.  He was always joking with the kids and he greeted his students with good-natured teasing most mornings when they stepped into his bus.  He was always vigilant about bullies and allowed no bullying.  He took the care of his riders very seriously and students knew they were safe riding with him.

Ronny passed away suddenly two weeks ago at the age of seventy-eight.  It seems that over the past couple months, I have written too many columns about good people who have died.  It is true that I have likely been to more funerals this year already than I attended in the entire last year.  However, Ronny’s story is special not only because of his great attitude towards life, but because of a “twist” which was revealed at his funeral.

Ronny started his last day like any other normal day on the farm.  He and his wife went to a business in a neighboring town and as they were walking into the building, he fell and later than night, he passed away.  At 2:45 a.m., to be precise.

Ronny had a pocket watch which had been in his family for a long time.  It had not worked in years, but he apparently loved that watch and kept it in his dresser drawer, neatly polished and always ready to be admired.  When the family was gathering items to take to the funeral home, his daughter-in-law found Ronny’s much-loved pocket watch and took it out of the drawer.  When she opened the watch, she saw in disbelief the time in which the watch had stopped, the time where it had sat in waiting all these many years.  The watch was stopped at 2:45.  The family had it prominently displayed at the funeral.

Sometimes things happen for which there is no explanation.  I think this is one of those occasions.  A man, who loved to laugh and tease, who always put his family first, and who was a great friend and neighbor, has left behind a little mystery for us to ponder and remember him by.  Pondering life's little mysteries . . .  it's a good thing!