Staying Alive By Being Generous

I recently came across a book called “Why Good Things Happen To Good People” by Jill Neimark and Dr. Stephen Post. Neimark is a science journalist, novelist and poet. Post is a bioethicist. They wrote the book together because they believe that giving is a good for you! Post and Neimark claim that giving protects your physical and mental well-being. Their theory is that while you can’t change the things that happen to you or the unkindness of others, you can create your own happiness and take care of your health through acts of generosity. What a concept!

The authors claim that you can have a longer, happier and healthier life simply by becoming more generous. Scientific research is showing that when we give of ourselves, everything in our lives change for the better. Life satisfaction and physical health is significantly affected. You are less likely to suffer from depression. It appears that mortality is delayed. There is an increase in well-being and good fortune. This is especially true if generosity is practiced at a young age.

How interesting that there is now a science of love and giving. In their book, Neimark and Post offer real-life stories to show how giving leads to health, happiness and a longer life. The incredible research includes a fifty-year study which shows that people who were generous and giving during their high school years have better physical and mental health throughout their entire lives. Other studies have shown that people who give live longer than those who don’t. There is an undeniable connection between generosity and good health. The research provides us all with the inspiration to change our lives, even in a small way.

Together, the authors interviewed dozens of people who had suffered unimaginable fates including paraplegics, Holocaust survivors, and people who had had horrific childhoods. Those survivors who found a way to help others overcame their hardships, and lived happier, more fulfilling lives than survivors who were not as generous. After interviewing people who had rebuilt their own lives by giving to others, Neimark and Post are more convinced than ever that we can make our own happiness and the best way to do so is by being generous to others. Being happy by giving to others, even if life has dealt you a difficult blow, is now a researched, scientific fact. You receive so much in return by being kind and generous to those who need it. Generosity as a cure-all. . . it's a good thing!

A Lesson Learned

A year ago this week, my step-dad passed away. We were heart-broken at the loss of this wonderful man, yet at the same time, we knew we were so fortunate to have known him and to have had him in our lives. Ovide was a wonderful man with a huge heart, a mischievous smile and a great sense of humour. He was quiet, unpretentious and always a gentleman. There was a kindness in him that came from his heart and soul. He was a truly thoughtful man who was always willing to help out and always had time to sit and visit.
He was widower when he married our Mom, herself a widow. He had nine grown children; Mom had three, plus three step-children. Our families became a mishmash of siblings, half-sibling and step-siblings. Somehow, it all worked. Dad’s nieces and nephews called Ovide “Uncle” and he gladly stepped into the role of their uncle. It became very complicated when we tried to explain to people how all the relationships in our families worked – who was related by blood, who was related by marriage and who was not even related at all. Sometimes, we could hardly keep track ourselves!
As well as being a wonderful husband to Mom, Ovide became a much-loved grandparent to our children, most of whom were too young to remember their biological grand-father. Over the years, they all grew to love him very much and he became an important part of our lives. He attended many graduations, weddings and all the important events of the young people in his life. Somehow, he managed to be keep his enthusiasm and joyfulness as he shared in the experiences of his own grandchildren, his step-grandchildren and the huge extended family he inherited when he married Mom.
That day, a year ago, as we sat and waited with him as he began the process of dying, our two families together in grief and love, it struck me that this dear, quiet, unassuming man had taught all of us - his children, step-children, grand-children and step-grandchildren - how to love and how to be a family and how, in the end, nothing matters but the love of family and friends. He showed us that being a family is more than simply sharing DNA and that you can be a family just because you want to be one. He taught us by example how to have a huge heart. Because of him, we know that it doesn’t matter how old you are or at what stage you are at in your life, opportunities arise and doors open, if you simply learn to love. As I reflect now a year later, I realize the most important lesson Ovide taught us all was the one which made him so happy: enjoy every minute you can with family and friends, (no matter the make-up of your family) and always be ready to welcome new people into your life.
I am grateful that we had the good fortune of having Ovide in our lives. Being given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to know a very special man . . . it's a good thing!