A Lesson Learned

A year ago this week, my step-dad passed away. We were heart-broken at the loss of this wonderful man, yet at the same time, we knew we were so fortunate to have known him and to have had him in our lives. Ovide was a wonderful man with a huge heart, a mischievous smile and a great sense of humour. He was quiet, unpretentious and always a gentleman. There was a kindness in him that came from his heart and soul. He was a truly thoughtful man who was always willing to help out and always had time to sit and visit.
He was widower when he married our Mom, herself a widow. He had nine grown children; Mom had three, plus three step-children. Our families became a mishmash of siblings, half-sibling and step-siblings. Somehow, it all worked. Dad’s nieces and nephews called Ovide “Uncle” and he gladly stepped into the role of their uncle. It became very complicated when we tried to explain to people how all the relationships in our families worked – who was related by blood, who was related by marriage and who was not even related at all. Sometimes, we could hardly keep track ourselves!
As well as being a wonderful husband to Mom, Ovide became a much-loved grandparent to our children, most of whom were too young to remember their biological grand-father. Over the years, they all grew to love him very much and he became an important part of our lives. He attended many graduations, weddings and all the important events of the young people in his life. Somehow, he managed to be keep his enthusiasm and joyfulness as he shared in the experiences of his own grandchildren, his step-grandchildren and the huge extended family he inherited when he married Mom.
That day, a year ago, as we sat and waited with him as he began the process of dying, our two families together in grief and love, it struck me that this dear, quiet, unassuming man had taught all of us - his children, step-children, grand-children and step-grandchildren - how to love and how to be a family and how, in the end, nothing matters but the love of family and friends. He showed us that being a family is more than simply sharing DNA and that you can be a family just because you want to be one. He taught us by example how to have a huge heart. Because of him, we know that it doesn’t matter how old you are or at what stage you are at in your life, opportunities arise and doors open, if you simply learn to love. As I reflect now a year later, I realize the most important lesson Ovide taught us all was the one which made him so happy: enjoy every minute you can with family and friends, (no matter the make-up of your family) and always be ready to welcome new people into your life.
I am grateful that we had the good fortune of having Ovide in our lives. Being given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to know a very special man . . . it's a good thing!