A New Way to Love Your Life

In a recent blog, I wrote about ten things which have been scientifically proven to make you happy. One of the suggestions was to “mentally subtract something good from your life”. This idea intrigued me, so I decided to look into it in a little more detail.

Most of us spend time thinking about good things that have not happened to us and the bad things that have happened. The idea here is to think about something good that has occurred in your life and think about what your life would be like if it had not happened. This is called “counter-factual” thinking. In one study, students at a university were asked to remember the events which had led them to choosing the college they were attending. They were then asked to think about what would have been different in their lives had they chosen a different university. The results showed that the students gave a higher rating to their choice and were happier with their decision when they considered the alternative. So, by mentally removing a good thing which had happened in their lives, the students realized how much they appreciated the choice they had made.

When you look back over your life, there are people who are special whether it is your spouse, your co-workers or friends. How different would your life have been had you not met those people and if your paths had never crossed? By imagining your life without those special persons, you gain a new appreciation for them. Rather than thinking “what if” and desiring something that you do not have, by changing your thinking in this manner, you can now appreciate what you do have. Rather than wishing for an abstract, you imagine what might have been if you had not had the opportunity of meeting that special person. According to several studies, this way of thinking leads to a greater satisfaction with the direction of your life.

We all come to forks in our paths and we are challenged to pick one. Counter-factual thinking makes you realize that you are happy with the fork you chose and less questioning about the fork you did not take. What if you had chosen to stay home rather than go out with friends the night you met the person who would go on to be your life partner? What if you had chosen a different job when you were offered the one you now love and get personal satisfaction from? What if you had never met your best friend?

The University of California at Berkley conducted an experiment with student volunteers. The students were divided into two groups and asked to write an essay on how they met their closest friend. One group was told to answer using only factual details (the factual group). The other group was asked to answer by reflecting on how their lives would be different if they had never met their friend (the counterfactual group). Those students in the counterfactual group viewed their friendship as more meaningful and significant. The students in the factual group did not experience that feeling of appreciation and gratitude. 

Sometimes you have to imagine how different you life would be if you had made different choices in order to truly appreciate what you have.  Loving your life . . . it’s a good thing!

City Workers to the Rescue

Those of you who have read this column know that I love stories about people helping others and expecting nothing in return. This story is even more special because it happened right here in Prince Albert.

A bridal shower was held recently at the Art Hauser Centre for Shannon Hryhor. As part of the decorations, a beautiful cake was decorated with two broaches which had belonged to Shannon’s two grandmothers. Her mother, Lois Hryhor, took charge of the broaches after they were removed from the cake and later accidently threw them away in the garbage. When she realized what she had done, she was sick with worry that she had lost these precious mementos, but there was nothing she could do until Monday morning when staff returned to the Art Hauser Center.

After what I am sure was a sleepless night, Lois went to the Art Hauser Centre on Monday morning where she relayed to a city employee what had happened. The employee immediately took Lois to the dumpsters and was under the assumption that it had not yet been emptied. However, upon opening the doors to the dumpsters, they discovered they had indeed been emptied. Lois felt all was lost and that she would never find the broaches.

The city employee, however, was not ready to give up quite yet. She contacted the Public Works Department and was able to track down the collector who had picked up the garbage at the Art Hauser Centre. He met Lois at the landfill and informed her that he knew which bags he had picked up from the Centre. He located the bags and even held them for Lois while she searched through them for the missing heirlooms. It didn’t take very long for Lois to find the broaches. Needless to say, Lois and Shannon are very grateful to the City of Prince Albert employees who went out of their way to help them find their precious items.

This is an amazing story of people going above and beyond the call of duty. It seems that so often people complain about city workers and rarely give them credit for a job well done. They do a lot of good work for which they do not get credit for, so I am very pleased that this story has received a fair amount of publicity.  Because of the kindness and dedication of our city employees, the Hryhor family have the special souvenirs of their grandmothers back in their hands. Perhaps someday Shannon’s daughter will use her great-grandmothers’ broaches on her own shower cake. I am sure that Lois and Shannon will pass on to her the story of that day when City of Prince Albert employees help rescue the jewellery from the landfill.

People going above and beyond the call of duty to make other people happy . . .  it’s a good thing!

Joni's Garden

 

 

I just knew I would keep going back each year.  The peacefulness and beauty found in Joni Hladun’s garden calls out to me, and so it was that I and my sister showed up on her doorstep last week to enjoy her wonderful creation.  What makes the visit even more special is Joni’s obvious joy in sharing her amazing garden.  She guides you through it with descriptions of where items originated, who built what, which artist created a painting or sculpture, often punctuated by her infectious laughter.  This woman is as amazing as her garden.

            The space in front and behind the Hladun home is a whimsical world of plants, flowers and ornaments.  You can feel the magic of this special place the moment you step out of your vehicle and look up toward the house.  No matter where your eyes turn, there is beauty in the form of plants, decorations and art.  One of my favorite items in the front yard is an old door which has been cleverly converted into a plant holder. 

            Walking through the gate which leads to the backyard is like being on a magical journey.  Again this year, as I did last year, I found myself walking around the yard several times.  Each time around the yard brought something different to my attention.  The yard is breathtaking!  There is everything from angel statues to wagon wheels, fountains, pottery and unique bird houses (built by Joni’s husband Ben).  There are flowers of every kind.  Joni told us there are over four hundred flower pots in her yard.  She has every kind of flower in her yard, shade-loving or sun-loving depending on their location, each one showing off their beautiful foliage and colour.

            Everyday items have been re-purposed into planters and decorations.  Joni has taken freezer baskets and turned them into beautiful handing plant containers.   There are mirrors and paintings throughout her yard.  Trunks are filled with plants or pottery and sit among the plants.   The cheerful paintings blend in so well that they become part of the landscape.  There are several ceramic sun faces watching over the property.  An over one hundred-year old tree whose branches cover the entire back yard lets in sunlight at various locations and intervals during the day.  At the base of the tree, Joni has gathered and arranged a collection of white pottery and statues.  Several paintings are hung on the tree trunk, reminding us once again that artwork is not only for the walls of your house. 

          When you are enjoying the beauty of this wonderful place, it is hard to believe you are only half-a-block from a busy city street.  From the moment you arrive until you leave, there is a smile on your face.  This is truly a little piece of paradise. Spaces that are good for your soul . . . it's a good thing!

Scientifically Happy

Did you know that scientists have found ten things that contribute to happiness?  The writers of the website PSYBLOG have researched studies done by various scientists and universities around the world and have put together a list of ten things that have been scientifically proven to make you happy.  Who knew that the study of happiness was even a science?  According to PSYBLOG, doing at least some of the ten activities each day will cause you to feel more positive and happier.  They claim that if you do this for a week, your mood will lift and you will have a brighter and happier outlook on life.  So, what are the ten activities?

1.     Exercise

Exercising helps you feel better mentally, increases your energy level and reduces tension.  It can be a simple exercise, such as walking, but do something physical every day.  You will feel better and enjoy life more.

2.     The Power of Listening to Music

Music influences our moods.  If we are sad, it can cheer us up and if we are happy, it can make us even happier.  So, listen to your favorite tunes as often as you can.

3.      Mentally subtract a positive event which has happened in your life.

How could deleting a happy event from your memory make you happier?  It works because when think what your life might be like if this good event had never occurred, you realize how fortunate you are.  How different your life might have been if you had never met your partner or a special friend or if that job had never been offered to you. Mentally subtracting a positive or good event from your life actually makes you appreciate it all the more.

4.     Send a thank you message

One of our most powerful emotions is gratitude.  You can evoke this emotion by sending a thank you to someone who has helped you, even in a small way.  One study found that practicing gratitude can increase happiness by 25%.  Another study found that by sending only three thank-you’s (whether by email, card or text) over a three week period reliably increased happiness. 

5.     Spend money -  on someone else.

Money can make you happy – but only if you spend it on someone else!  Spending on someone else makes us feel better about ourselves.  It also helps create stronger friendships and people with strong social ties are happier.

6.     Plan a event to look forward to 

The anticipation of an upcoming event is another powerful emotion.  Remember the days leading up to Christmas or your birthday as a child?  So, plan something and try to always have something to look forward to. 

7.     Make plans with friends

Even better than making plans, is making plans with friends.  You have the joy of anticipation and you are contributing to keeping the friendship strong.   People are happiest when they have a strong social circle.

8. Make a list of three good things every day

Each evening, spend a few minutes thinking about three good things that happened that day.  In one study of people suffering from depression, this practice decreased their sadness in a matter of weeks.  Even for people who are not depressed, making this list each evening adds to their happiness.

9.     Do something that you are good at

Scientists call this your “signature strength” and can be anything from social, physical or sporting skills or anything that you excel at.  Whatever it is, try to do it every day.  Being able to do something really well makes people enjoy life more.

            10.      Have a happy daydream

We all tend to daydream and we can use daydreaming to make us more joyful by remembering positive things and events in our lives.  This practice is called “life-savouring strategies” and can give us a much needed boost to go on with our days.

So, there you have it:  a list of ten things scientists say will make you happier.  It can’t hurt to try at least some of the items and who knows, it might make you happier!  Doing all the right things to be happy . . . it's a good thing!

Saskatchewan Day

I hope you are enjoying your Saskatchewan Day long week-end. Most of us enjoy the extra day off at the beginning of August without really thinking about what it means to live in Saskatchewan and how fortunate we are to do so.

 

While this summer has been tumultuous with sudden and heavy rainfall and an unprecedented number of floods and tornadoes, we should remember how privileged we are that this is the exception and not our usual weather. It has also been a year of impassable roads as our highways have been flooded over all around us.  However, this is unusual and hopefully something we will not see again for a long time.  Our neighbors to the south face tornadoes every year. We see them only a few times in our lifetime. They are terrifying, to say the least, and I am very happy that we do not have to suffer the destruction and terror of these violent storms each and every year.

Saskatchewan has four very distinct seasons. Most of us take these changes for granted. There is a beauty in each season which people in non-changing climates never get to experience. We have the opportunity to enjoy all types of sports and activities which change with each season. I know of a woman who was born and raised in Hawaii and now lives here. She absolutely refuses to visit her family during the winter because she loves the snow and doesn’t want to miss a minute of it. She is always telling people we don’t realize how wonderful it is to have the different seasons. Having grown up where the temperature is constant all year, she savours each change she experiences here as the seasons change.

Many of us who live here are descendents of people who have been in this province for only a few generations, and we know how hard they worked to give us the life we now enjoy. Many families around Prince Albert have received one-hundred year recognition for their family farms. Farming has changed a great deal, but in this province, many farms stay in the same family generation after generation.  The people who came before us were leaders in public health care, cooperatives and had a deep belief in helping each other - a true testament to our sense of community and sharing which has made this province so great.

Our winters may be too cold, our summers to short, and we may not be as sophisticated as some might wish us to be, but we wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Happy Saskatchewan Day!  Celebrating the greatness of our province . . . it's a good thing!