Not Ready To Let Go

He is ninety-four years old, and the world is not yet ready to let him go.  The hospitalization of Nelson Mandela made head-line news around world, and people stood outside his hospital in Pretoria praying for his recovery.  Such is the magnetism of Mandela that even at the age of ninety-four, people want and expect him to live and be well.  Few in South Africa can imagine their country without his presence, even though he has not been involved in political life since 2004, when he retired as President at the age of eighty-four.  The well-wishers who gathered on the street in front of his hospital ranged from  young people who were not old enough to vote for him when he was politically active to people who waited for him through-out his twenty-seven years of imprisonment and saw him become their President. 

            Nelson is indeed an amazing man.  The passionate leader of the anti-apartheid movement was born into a South African royal family.  He attended university and went to law school.   In 1953, he and a partner opened their law firm in downtown Johannesburg , the only African law firm in the entire country.  Their legal services were used mostly by aggrieved Africans and most cases dealt with police brutality.   Soon, authorities forced the lawyers to close their popular office by removing their office permit.  The forced relocation to a less prominent location caused the decline of clients.  These were the years that saw Mandela become politically active as he led the fight against apartheid.  Throughout the following years, Mandela was placed under several travel bans and eventually was imprisoned for his beliefs and actions.

            When running for the office of President of South Africa, Mandela promoted peace rather than revenge and committed to peace and reconciliation.  After he won the election, Mandela presided over the transition to a multicultural democracy from apartheid.  He considered national reconciliation as his main goal.  He was the glue which held his country together when it was going through its most difficult time. 

            Mandela became a national and world-wide hero.  Along with his political convictions, what made him stand apart were his charisma and the regal manner in which he always carried himself.  No matter what life threw at him, he held on to his dignity and pride.  He won many awards, including the Nobel Peace Prize and met with many world leaders.  He brought world attention to South Africa and the people there have never forgotten what he fought for and what he accomplished. 

            So, it is easy to understand why South Africans pray for his recovery.  It is no wonder the world is not ready to say goodbye to this man.  We know the day will come sooner than later, but we just want to have him with us for a little longer.   Acklnowledging a truly great man . . .  it's a good thing!

Summer Is Here!

When you hear the world “summer”, what picture comes to you? Yes, summer is the lake, flowers, fresh-cut grass and ice cream, but when I think of summer, the image that comes to mind is new sandals and brightly coloured toe nails. Throw in a toe ring or two for good measure, and maybe an ankle bracelet.

Sandals just don't look right if the toes they are displaying are missing bright nail polish. The combination of sandals and nail polish is perfect on women of all ages - from little girls, to grown women to seniors. One of the details I loved the most in the movie "Titanic" was the scene wherein the "old" Rose was standing on the edge of the ship in her bare feet - with brightly painted red toe nails! How perfect was that! Those brightly coloured toes spoke volumes, without anyone saying a word. I love that scene because of her red toe nails!

            I know it seems trivial, but summer has officially arrived when we drag our sandals out of our closets (or buy a new pair) after a long winter of warm socks and heavy boots.  Our feet have been hidden away for months and we are finally able to give them a little freedom.   Memories of those long winter months (excruciatingly long this year) are quickly forgotten as new footwear and polished toe nails emerge.  Whether it is in flip flops or high-heeled sandals, summer is celebrated and acknowledged through what we wear on our feet!

            Sandals and polished toe-nails . . . it’s a good thing!

Ready To Fly

“Excuse me, I think I am supposed to be dancing with my daughter”, the tall panic-stricken man explained to my friend after he almost knocked her over in his frantic search for his daughter.   He looked around and realized that the high school graduates were still dancing with their escorts and that the graduates/parents dance had not yet started.  He relaxed a little, content in the knowledge that he had not, in fact, ruined his daughter’s graduation night by not being at the right place at the right time.

 Those of you who have attended a small town grad will understand the panic the father was in.  Last Friday, I was in a nearby small town, attending my husband’s nephew’s graduation.  With only twenty or so graduates, smaller high school graduations are heavy on tradition and sentimentality, from the slide show in which each student is showcased from early childhood through grade twelve to each graduate walking off the stage to present their mother with a rose, the tears flow easily and family pride is evident. 

            A couple songs later, it was time for the graduates/parents dance and the father who had bulldozed his way over my friend, stepped onto the dance floor to claim his daughter.  As I watched them dancing, I couldn’t help but smile.  It was evident in the easy way they danced and laughed together that they were very close.  It was also evident that they had danced together many times over the years.  She was tall and dark haired like her father and they danced beautifully. 

            As I watched them, these two people I have never met but for some reason fascinated me, I was quite sure that the Dad was a little shocked at the beautiful young lady in his arms.  He no doubt was wondering where the years went.  One day she was starting kindergarten, the next she was dancing with him in her dying days of high school.  I imagined he was remembering the first time he danced with her, likely with her feet on his as he guided her through their living room.  He looked proud and sad all at the same time; proud of the young women she had become and sad at losing the child she had been.

            Throughout the province during the months of May and June, this scene will be replayed in every small town as communities gather to acknowledge the accomplishments of their graduates and celebrate their success.  There is something to be said for small graduating classes.  Most of the students have been together since kindergarten in the same school that their parents attended.  Many are related to each other.  There is a closeness in these classes which is impossible in larger city schools.  Because of the small number of students, the ceremony itself focuses on each student individually and each has his or her time to shine.  Whether you know all the students or only one, by the end of the evening you feel connected to all of them and have likely shed a tear or two with them. 

            For families of high school graduates this is a bittersweet time.  Enjoy the celebrations, reminisce, laugh and cry, then set your graduate free to take on the world.  You have been preparing them for this for the past eighteen years - job well done.

          Celebrating with our graduates  . . .  it’s a good thing!

 

 

 

How Many Things Make You Happy?

What makes you happy?  How many things are you happy about?  Barbara Ann Kipfer knows exactly how many things she is happy about: 14,000 (and growing)!  She knows, because throughout her the first forty years of her life, she wrote them down and kept track of everything, big and small, that made her happy.

Barbara Ann Kipfer is from Connecticut and holds a PhD in Linguistics, a PhD in Archaeology, a PhD in Buddhist Studies and in Physical Education.  With all her accomplishments and successes, the thing Dr. Kipfer is most proud of is her book “14,000 Things To Be Happy About”.   The book, and now her website, was created from a small spiral notebook she started writing in during her sixth grade.  In her little notebook, she made a list of things that made her happy.  As her list grew, she replaced the notebook with larger notebooks and finally graduated to a computer.  She kept adding to her list for twenty years!  Her list grew to 14,000 happy things.  \

This list was published into a book.  It has sold over a million copies and has been the topic of many page-a-day calendars.  The entire book is made up of her lists – page after page of things that made Barbara Ann Kipfer happy through her childhood, her teen-age years and eventually adulthood. 

Barbara Ann Kipfer intrigues me.  What would give a six-grade student the idea to keep such a list?  Why would she keep her adding to her list, keeping all her old books through her childhood and as an adult?  What an interesting concept: keeping a list of things that make you happy!  I wonder if the twelve-year-old child who started keeping a record of her happy things ever thought in her wildest dreams that her lists would one day be a best-selling book?  She is obviously an intelligent woman and is very well educated, yet she believes that being happy is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  She lives her life acknowledging the things which please her.  In fact, she continues to this day – 45 years after she began her first book of lists – to keep a notebook of things to be happy about.  Her list has grown to more than 132,000 things!

Interestingly, the author says that she now uses her own list to cheer herself up on a "gray day" or when she wants to plan a fun thing with her son. Barbara Ann Kipfer has been quoted as saying:  "Happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life".    I think she is right.  If we dwell on the dark things in our lives, we will not find happiness or contentment.  If we think about things that cheer us up and delight us, life is much more pleasant.  What would you include on your list of things that make you happy?  Reminding ourselves of the things that make us happy . . . it’s a good thing!

Mother's Day

I hope that your Mother’s Day is special, whether you are a mother or a child – or both. It is important to celebrate the love we feel and the bond we have. Every daughter has that special connection with her mother, but for some people, it goes beyond the mother-daughter bond. Sometimes, mothers and daughters are each other's best friends. When you think about it, who could be a more perfect friend than your mother?  She has to love you, no matter what because she is, after all, your mother.  If you enjoy each other’s company, then that’s a bonus.

I enjoy going to events or shopping, and seeing mothers and daughters out having fun together. I think it is wonderful when I hear someone say they call their Mom several times a day, because they have so much to say to each other. Those fortunate women who develop a friendship with their mothers have the best of all worlds - they have a mother with her unconditional love and support, and a friend who is fun to be with and shares the same interests, all in one person. Some relationships remain strictly mother-daughter and that is fine. However, the truly lucky daughters are the one who have the good fortune of being best friends with their mom.

Many sons are also best friends with their mothers.  They feel secure in sharing thoughts and feelings and asking questions, knowing without a doubt that all will be kept confidential.  That’s just what mothers do.  And sometimes Moms can even help to explain to their sons that complicated female who seems to be such a mystery to so many men. 

No one knows us as well as our mothers.  They know our fears, our hopes, our strengths and weaknesses.  They have watched us develop into the adults we are today.  In fact, they have greatly influenced who we have developed into. 

I look forward to spending time with my children this Sunday.  It seems that life gets so busy, we sometimes forget to just enjoy each other’s company.  That’s why I think it is so important to slow down and enjoy Mother’s Day.

If you are a mother, I hope you have the opportunity to spend the day with your children, whether they are still living with you or grown up and live away.  If you don’t have children, make sure you spend time with your own Mom.  This is a day for putting everything else on hold and for cherishing that special bond between mothers and children.  Remembering Mom on Mother’s Day . . .  it’s a good thing!

Sans Nom Poets

I love to support local talent – whether it is musicians or visual performers, art shows or readings by writers.  It is important that we celebrate the creativity of people in our own community. I attend many concerts, art shows and readings and I am always amazed at the calibre and quality of our home-grown talent.

Tonight I attended a very special book launch.  The book called “Skating in the Exit Light” was released in celebration of the 20^th anniversary of the Sans Nom Poets.  Sans Nom is a group of poets who, over the years, have written together and supported each other as books were published or rejected,  as life-changing events occurred in their personal and professional  lives and who have helped each other make that poem just a little better.

Seventeen authors have contributed to the book.  All are very talented and several have had books published and/or their work published.  Two very special people to me are in that group and read their works that night: Veryl Coghill and Lynda Monahan.

Lynda is an amazing poet. Her words draw you into her world as she writes about the pain of losing her mother and her brother.  She wrote a poem for her sister who has severe health issues.  She read a poem which she wrote for a lifelong friend who passed away last year. She expressed regret that she did not write it for him when he was alive. An important lesson taught through her prose: make sure to tell the people you love how you feel. Don't wait until it is too late.  Lynda spins magic with her words and listening to her, one experiences the emotions she wraps around each of her poems. 

Veryl Coghill’s contribution to the book is a powerful tribute to her mother who passed away two years ago.  The typical complicated mother/daughter relationship that we all share is brought to life in Veryl’s poem.  Again there is the lesson to share your feelings and to tell those you love how much you care before it is too late.  Veryl uses the songs and stories of her childhood and intertwines them with her own words, creating a magical world in which when you read her poem you can hear the music of your own childhood in the background. 

All the poets who read their work that night have amazing stories to tell and are greatly talented. What a wonderful idea it was to have these amazing people with incredible poetic abilities join together for an evening to share their work with the public.  Their poetry is wonderful gift they share with all of us.  We are indeed fortunate to have such talent in our city. 

Enjoying the talents and work of people in our own community . . . it's a good thing!

Fine Friends and Prickly People

Is it possible that every person in your life is here because of a divine purpose? In her book “God’s Guest List”, Debbie Macomber claims this is so. Macomber firmly believes that everyone – even the “prickly people”, as she calls them – are sent to you for a reason. A person may need something from you or you may have something that person needs. Someone may come into your life because there is something he or she can teach you or that you can teach that person. Macomber says that whether someone is a life-long friend, or someone you know for only a short while, there is a purpose for that contact. Life lessons are learned from this variety of people and relationships. She claims that even people you don’t like or people you simply “put up with” are a gift sent to you in order to learn any number of traits: patience, tolerance or understanding.  Perhaps they are sent to us so that we can learn to be strong and gain the confidence to stand up for ourselves, or for others.  Sometimes a “prickly person” goes on to become a valued friend, but even they remain a prickly person, you have been taught a life lesson.  People we don’t particularly care for or who are not necessarily kind to us, have something to teach us. We need to learn to accept those who have a negative influence on us as readily as we accept those who bring happiness and joy into our lives.  We should not dwell on the negative, but simply understand those downers serve a purpose and move on.

Her book caused me to examine my own life and the people who have come in and out of it, and to reflect on the people who have been permanent fixtures in my life.  I think Macomber might be onto something.  Even not-so-nice people in my life have been there at a time when I needed their skill, talent or even guidance and perhaps a lesson in assertiveness. While they may have caused disruption or sadness, there was a reason they were there at that particular time.  The people I love have given me strong support when I needed it most. I have also come to realize that two precious friends, now deceased, were a part of my life when I needed them the most.  If you think back on your life, I think you will come to the same conclusion. 

 

       All of these people – friend and foe – are part of the “guest list” of our lives, and we should appreciate each and every one of them. Suddenly it all makes sense -  knowing that your friends and your “prickly people” have been picked out for you and sent into your life when you needed them the most.   Having fine friends and prickly people in your life . . .it’s a good thing