Random Acts of Kindness

I love the concept of “random acts of kindness” – doing something for someone you may or may not know and doing so for no other reason than to share an act of kindness.  Random acts of kindness or “raks” as they are known, have become popular over the past few years. Even a small gesture of kindness counts as a rak.  This is a win-win situation, as both the person receiving and the person doing the random act of kindness experience enjoyment and satisfaction.

Here in Prince Albert, I know of a group of high school girls who make it their mission to perform at least one random act of kindness each and every day.  What makes this so unique is that these girls come from less than ideal homes, in fact some of the girls are foster children.  These young women have seen much sorrow and suffered  painful childhoods, yet they do not dwell on their past experiences and instead focus on doing good things for other people.  The girls say that their daily ritual of raks has helped them to heal and to work on recovery and that they feel happier and more content with their lives for doing so. 

I have a friend who decided to perform “racks” or random acts of Christmas kindness this year.  She surprised people who had touched her life or people she thought might need an act of kindness to help them through the Christmas season.  She found that she enjoyed doing her racks as much as her recipients enjoyed receiving them.

I was a rack recipient this Christmas.  I received a card with a very touching message and a Tim Horton’s gift card from an anonymous rack-er.  I suspect it is my friend, mentioned above, but she would neither confirm nor deny when I questioned her.  Regardless of who it was, it was a wonderful gesture and made my day in the middle of Christmas madness. 

Last week, my niece Jeridee told me her own story of a rak in her life.  Her story is a wonderful one and I think it is one of the most touching rak stories I have heard to date.  Her two year old daughter loves to watch the local school bus drive by their acreage and to wave at it as it goes by. Every day Jeridee tries to make sure Maelle is by the living room window around bus time so she can wave at the bus.  At some point, the driver took notice of this practice and began to wave back. Last week, the driver took it one step further. She now slows down a little when she gets to Maelle’s window and everyone on the bus waves to her.  How nice is that!  Such a small gesture, yet it makes one little girl (and her mother and great-aunt) very happy.  No doubt, it also puts the bus driver and the students on the bus in a happy mood.  What an awesome bus driver and what a great lesson she is teaching the students on her bus. This just makes me smile. :)How wonderful for Maelle. 

Random acts of kindness can be the simplest actions, yet they have a huge impact.  So, go ahead and make someone’s day (and your own) by rak-ing them.  You will be amazed at how good you feel about yourself and about those around you. Making the world a happier place, one random act of kindess at a time . . .  it's a good thing!

Little Miss Sunshine

It seems that over the past few years, I have attended too many funerals of people who have passed away far too young.  This week-end, we said our farewell to yet another person who had so much life left to live and so much joy to spread.  Debbie was not someone I saw very often, but when we ran into each other, she was always smiling and was always excited about something or other that was happening in her life.  Whether it was stopping in at my office to pick up yet another one of our fund-raising cook-books, or shopping for plants at a greenhouse, it seemed everything was a reason for Debbie to be happy and excited about.  There was something about Debbie that made you smile just thinking about her.  I became friends with her sister-in-law, Stacey, and because of that friendship, I had the opportunity to see Debbie a little more often.

Stacey and Debbie’s cousin, Mary, gave her eulogy and they verified what I had always thought of Debbie. I had assumed the Debbie I knew was the public one and that perhaps she was not that way all the time in private. However, in their loving tribute to her, Stacey and Mary shared happy and poignant stories of Debbie and spoke of her love of family and friends. She loved “sparkly” things and had many items that shone and sparkled in her home, things like indoor Christmas lights all year long, dozens of solar lights in her back yard and bright, colourful items throughout her house. This was a lady who went through life in pink sparkling runners – literally.  They were placed next to her urn, a testament to the energetic bubbly person Debbie had been. 

Debbie’s life and funeral has made me look at myself, perhaps because we were very similar in age and in the number of years we were married.  Because of that, I wonder how difficult it must have been for her those last months and weeks.  I have so much more I want to do, so many more places I want to visit and so much left to say. I’m not ready to go yet.  I suspect Debbie must have felt the same.  Still, she faced death through the months leading to it with her usual smile and enthusiasm for life.  I did not know Debbie as well as many others at her funeral did, yet I feel a tremendous loss at losing her.  I can only imagine how her family must feel. That was Debbie in a nutshell: she cast her magic wand on all who knew her and all who had the good fortune of meeting her and left a lasting impression of a sunshine smile. 

Her funeral card had a picture of her in a field of yellow flowers with her arms outstretched, wearing a straw sunhat.  The caption over the picture simply said “Little Miss Sunshine”.  Indeed she was, in all the things she surrounded herself with and within herself.  You will be missed, Debbie, and never forgotten.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Why is it that the date of the death of Ireland’s patron saint is celebrated worldwide? There are many other saints and many other patron saints, but most are celebrated locally and not all over the world as St. Pat’s date is. There is something intriguing about the day and all the greenery that happens on March 17. 

The real St. Patrick was born in the 4th Century and is thought to have been taken as a slave from Roman Britain to Ireland. He escaped, returned to Britain and became a priest. He later returned to Ireland and is credited with Christianizing the Irish. Folklore says that he used a shamrock to explain the Christian doctrine of the Trinity to the Irish people. That was likely where “the wearing of the green” originated. St. Patrick’s Day and the wearing of green has been celebrated as early as the 17th century.   It is indicative of how important St. Patrick’s Day has become over the centuries that for Christians who observe Lent, the Lenten restrictions have occasionally been lifted for the one day (if St. Patrick’s Day falls during the forty days of Lent).  Many believe that this has encouraged the holiday’s tradition of consuming alcohol.

It is estimated that there are over eighty million people all over the world who are of Irish descent.  Many countries, including Argentina, Brazil, Britain, Australia, Canada and the United States have many towns and neighborhoods which were settled by Irish immigrants and their descendents continue to observe some of the traditions of their ancestors.  The most celebrated and recognizable of these traditions is the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. 

The Irish have contributed a great deal to Canada. Irish-Canadian engineering developed and built the Rideau canal system, Irish immigrants helped build the St. Lawrence and Atlantic Railway and one-third of Canada’s 22 prime ministers were of Irish ancestry!

Today, we continue to wear green on March 17th and show off our green in other ways: bars offer green beer, the Chicago River is dyed green, and many businesses change the lights on their buildings to green for the day. The Queen presents bowls of shamrock to members of the Irish Guards on St. Patty’s Day.  The shamrock is flown from Ireland each year in time for her to do make the presentations.  Horse racing at Cheltenham Festival is held on or close to St. Patrick’s Day and is attended by large numbers of Irish people.  All over the world, people wear green and celebrate this special Irish tradition.

For those of us living in Saskatchewan, “wearing of the green” has a different meaning every other day of the year and we reserve our green pride for the Rough Riders. However, on March 17 we stand with the Irish in acknowledging their special day.  So, wear your green clothes today and maybe even tip a green beer to the memory of St. Patrick.  If you know someone who is Irish (and chances are you do), wish them a Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Loving everything green today . . . it’s a good thing!

Oh Canada!

 

The Winter Olympics have just concluded and I have just watched the closing ceremonies.  During the two weeks of the 2014 Olympics, I, like most Canadians, experienced an entire range of emotions from tense anxiety prior to games and competitions to pride as our athletes won gold, silver and bronze medals.  Even those who did not win medals displayed sportsmanship, dedication to their sport and pride for our country and we can be proud of all our Canadian athletes.  In fact, news outlets all over the world commented on the kindness and friendliness of Canadian athletes and spectators.  But no one gave us the glowing review and high praise in such detail as Tanya Chen of Buzzfeed.com, an American on-line site, in her story “10 Ways Canada Has Already Won The Winter Olympics” which she posted on February 12 – only five days into the 2014!  Five days in and she was telling the world how Canada had already won the Winter Olympics!  These are the reasons she gave (and yes, it is ok to swell your chest in pride).

1.     “When the Canadian Institute of Diversity and Inclusion released its response to Russia’s anti-LGBT laws. This was done through the release of a 30-second commercial advocating the gay rights. It is very well done, humorous but gets the point across.

2.     “When an Olympic qualifier took one for Team Canada and gave up his spot to another teammate.” Chen is of course referring to Gilmore Junio who gave up his spot in the 1000 meter speed skating to Denny Morrison. Morrison went on to win silver.

3.     “When, shortly after his win, Morrison started a Twitter campaign to select Junio as Canada’s flag bearer during the Sochi closing ceremonies.” We now know that Junio was not selected to be our flag bearer, but it was a very nice gesture on the part of Morrison.

4.     “When a Canadian coach helped a Russian skier complete his Olympic race with dignity.” This was one of my favorite moments of the Olympics.  What a wonderful action on the part of Canadian cross-country coach Justin Wadsworth and so “Canadian”.  So proud of that coach.  This was also, by the way, chosen by CNN as the third most memorial Olympic Moment out of fifteen.   

5.     “When they showed everyone up by creating an ingenious beer fridge that can only be accessed by a Canadian passport.” I love this concept and I love the pictures of Canadians accessing refreshments by scanning their passports. 

6.     “When Ottawa’s mayor shut down some haters in the best possible way.”  Mayor Jim Watson flew the Pride Flag in Ottawa through-out the duration of the 2014 Winter Olympics. Many other cities followed suite, but Chen rightly credits him because he led the way.

7.     “When only two of the Dufour-Lapointe sisters took medals home but all three siblings cheered for each other.”  These free-style skiers are so supportive of each other and take such pride in the accomplishments of their siblings. It is heart-warming to see sisters behave in this way in such a competitive setting. 

8.     “ When, after beating his fellow countryman to get gold, Alex Bilodeau left his competitor with only kind words” Bilodeau grew up with Mikael Kingsbury, they skied together, belonged to the same clubs and had the same coaches. When Alex won gold in freestyle skiing over Kingsbury who won silver, he was quick to praise him and proclaimed him to be the one who will win everything one day. 

9.     “When Bilodeau then dedicated his Olympic gold to his brother who has cerebral palsy.” We saw Bilodeau do this at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics and it was no less heart-wrenching to see him do this again in Sochi.   

10.   “And when — amid all sportsmanship and thoughtfulness — Canada actually won a bunch of medals.” On February 12 when Chen posted this, we were only up to eleven medals.  We would go on to more than double that number, which proves what Canadians have known all along: you can be nice and win at the same time. 

Tanya Chen, an American writing for an American site, has listed ten reasons why we as Canadians are winners regardless of how many medals we bring home.  Sometimes, we need to be reminded that it is ok to be nice and to be fair.  That is, after all, what makes us Canadian.   Winning the Olympics before it is even over . . . it's a good thing!

A Lesson in Compassion

 

Last week, my mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s disease came to end.  We were fortunate that my family and I were able to sit with her during her final days and to be with her as she reached that stage in her journey.  She was surrounded by people she cherished when she drew her last breath, my sister holding her hand.  Although we feel relief that her pain and confusion is over, we still grieve the loss of our mother.  We all thought we were ready for this inevitable stage, now we realize that one is never ready to lose a loved one no matter how much time you have had to prepare.

As my sister and I sat with Mom, we learned things about palliative care, compassion and support which we didn’t know before and had not realized until we were in that position. I think we learned important lessons which will make us more compassionate and will make us better people. We will, no doubt, be more supportive, and will know how to be more supportive, of friends and family members who are facing the loss of a loved one.

In the past, when friends or family were sitting by someone they cherish, waiting for them to pass, it never occurred to me to go and sit with them. It was not until I was sitting with Mom, hour after hour, day after day, that I realized how much I appreciated the friends and family who came by and sat with us. Some came only for a few minutes, others sat for hours with us. Some just sat quietly with us, others talked about Mom and their memories of her. There was much laughter and love in the room. No matter how long or how little time they stayed with us, or what they said or didn’t say, we were so grateful that they took the time to be with us and that they cared enough to do so.  I know that in the future, I will be much more attentive and supportive of family and friends who are preparing to let one of their own go. I will remember how helpful it is to have someone come by to sit and talk. I know I won’t worry about what to say or do, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I will be there, even if it is only a few minutes at a time. What matters the most, is that the family will know they are loved and that others feel their pain. Spending time with people who are hurting is such an easy and simple thing to do, and yet so meaningful.   

Of course, in this age of smart phones, I received many texts and emails with words of encouragement and support.  This is something else I will remember to do. Just to know that someone is thinking of you in your time of need really lifts your spirit. I am so grateful to all those friends who took the time to let me know they were thinking of us. Again this is something so simple, yet so touching. 

It is never easy to lose someone you love. I learned that having compassionate friends and family members who take the time to be with you and show you they care helps to ease the pain. Thank you to each of you and I promise to pay it forward.  Learning good things even when you are in pain . . . it’s a good thing!

Prince Albert Women's Hall of Fame

The Prince Albert Council of Women has put out its annual call for nominations for the Women’s Hall of Fame.  The Hall of Fame itself is situated on the second floor of City Hall and consists of a wall of framed pictures of each inductee.  Each year, a local woman is recognized by being inducted into the Prince Albert Women’s Hall of Fame.  The first year a woman was acknowledged in this manner was in 2004 and there has been an induction each year since. 

We all know women who give of themselves either as volunteers or in their workplace.  There are so many kind and generous women in Prince Albert who, while they never seek recognition, certainly deserve it.  As women, we often forget to acknowledge each other or the contributions of others.  This award attempts to correct that.  That is why it is so important to Prince Albert and area and why it is so vital to nominate deserving women. 

You do not have to be involved with the Council of Women, nor does the nominee.  As well, you don’t have to be a woman to submit a nomination.  So guys, feel free to fill in nomination forms.  The main criterion is that the nominee’s work must be of benefit to Prince Albert and area. 

One a nominee is chosen, the Induction Ceremony is held each year on or near March 8, which is International Women’s Day.  The induction ceremony consists of a short program, followed by presentation of the inductee’s picture to the Mayor of Prince Albert, who ensures it finds its way to City Hall to be displayed in the Hall of Fame. The program varies slightly from year to year, but it always focuses on the accomplishments of the inductee and a celebration of her contributions.

Each year, the United Nations proclaims a theme for International Women’s Day.  The 2014 theme is “Inspiring Change”.  The Saskatchewan Status of Women also proclaims a theme and this year’s theme is “Communities in Action: Ending Violence Against Women and Girls”   The two themes for 2014 actually go hand-in-hand.  One of the ways in which change can be inspired is by working together to end violence against women and girls. 

To submit the name of your nominee, go to the Prince Albert Council of Women’s facebook page where you will find a nomination form and contact information.  The deadline is February 15.

We all know generous women who are deserving of recognition.  Find the one who inspires you the most and nominate her. 

Honouring deserving women . . .  it's a good thing! 

The Third Metric of Success

As we begin a new year, it is a good time to examine new ways of taking care of ourselves and ways in which to make our lives a little simpler.

Arianna Huffington is the founder of the news website “The Huffington Post”.  In 2009, she was named in Forbes first ever list of the Most Influence Women in Media.  She firmly believes that that the workplace must be redefined and that a “third metric” needs to be added to measure success.  Presently, only two measures are used to define success: money and power.  Huffington believes that the third measure should include our well-being, and that this is as important as money and power in how we decipher success.  Her argument is that companies and businesses will be benefit when the wellbeing of their employees becomes a measurement of their success. 

In her blog, Arianna Huffington posted, “We’ve all bought into this definition of success, money and power, and it’s not working . . .  it is not working for anyone.”  She contends that companies are losing billions of dollars each year because of employee absenteeism and stress. She claims that most of this could be prevented by making employee well-being a priority and that this principle is compatible with a company profits.  Most company CEO’s would not agree with Huffington, however women in the workplace are beginning to prove her right.

Saskatoon speaker and author, and member of Canada’s Top 100 Most Powerful Women Hall of Fame, Betty Ann Heggie has this to say about Huffington’s idea: “In my opinion, Huffington is promoting the addition of the feminine energy values of success (wisdom, empathy, wellness, wonder) to the masculine energy values of money of power.  She predicts it will cause a revolution in the workplace not unlike what happened when women got the vote.  Women can make it happen by starting with themselves and making their health a priority”.    Mary Gordon, founder of Roots of Empathy, describes Huffington’s vision of a third metric as one of “well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder and to give back”.   These women have all lived the corporate life and all know what it is to crash and burn and fight your way back to normalcy.  Arianna Huffington often tells her own story of exhaustion and hurting herself physically, and about her recovery and continued care through napping, adequate sleep, mindfulness, and self care. 

At a “Third Metric Conference” hosted by Arianna Huffington in June, 2013, the participants noted that many people suffer greatly in the pursuit of money and power.  Most experience frustration, burn-out and ill health rather than true success.  By stepping back and making a conscious decision to make self-care a top priority, success does not have to come at the cost of personal health and well-being.  In fact, if employees pursue well-being, it will be reflected in their work and will result in a more successful workplace.  Isn’t that what those CEO’s mentioned previously want?  It is ironic that by encouraging their employees to look after their physical and mental health, businesses will have a more productive and healthier workforceand yield better results than the present practice.   

 Make it your goal this year to take care of yourself:  get the sleep you need, the peace of mind you long for, the mental and physical health you deserve, laugh every day and enjoy life.  By making your own wellbeing a priority, you will improve the lives of those around you at home and at work.  Make the third metric of success your stepping stone.

 

Making the third metric of success a part of your life . . . it's a good thing!