Life's Circle

Last week, my family encountered the highs and lows of life’s circle as we experienced the sadness of death and the joy of birth. One day we honoured and remembered the life of my husband’s brother-in-law; two days later we welcomed a new baby boy as my niece delivered the newest member of our family. It is bittersweet how one life ended as another began. It brought an awareness that no matter what happens, life goes on, events overlap and the world is continuously unfolding. Somehow it seemed right that one life replaced the other, and that a life well-lived to the fullest was interchanged with a new life about to start on its journey. The heartache of the funeral blended almost seamlessly into the thrill of a new life. It is surreal that two people so important in our lives missed sharing this world by two days.
Standing by the coffin to say our final good-byes to someone who has been a part of my life for almost as long as I have known my husband, I thought about the life he had led. The hours spent at the hospital by his family spoke to the love his wife, children, grandchildren and extended family had for him. They ensured the memorial service was exactly how he would have wanted it. As I watched the slideshow presentation made up of pictures his relatives had gathered together, it was obvious that he had lived a full life and enjoyed being with his family – his children, his grand-children, his brothers and sisters and his in-laws. And in the end, it was that love which he took with him and which he left behind at the same time.
Mere days after purchasing flowers for the funeral, I was buying clothes and other items for our new baby. As this precious bundle was showered with presents to welcome him, I realized that the best gift we give him is the love of his family to give him the strength and confidence he will need as he grows up and takes his place in the world. Our love is unconditional and will, hopefully, set the pattern for his life. I trust that each step he takes in life’s voyage will be softened and made easier by the devotion and love of those around him. In the beginning and at the end of life, love is the one thing we have and can hold on to. It is also the one thing we leave behind which everyone can share.
As I learned this week, it is not quite true that we enter this world with nothing and we leave it with nothing. If we are very fortunate, we have the love of family and friends and we feel cherished from the time we are born until the day we die.

Loving and being loved . . . it's a good thing!

Family Day

This week, we are enjoying a long week-end due to a provincial holiday – Family Day. It was created in 2007 to encourage families to spend the day enjoying activities together. While it is important to share this day with our children, I think it is also important to remember our extended family. Brothers and sisters are a huge part of who we are and too often we taken them for granted, and we forget to tell them what they mean to us.
Sometimes life goes along without incident and we tend to take our good fortune for granted. We are six siblings in my family and we have been fortunate in that we still have each other, and have not yet had to deal with the death of a brother or sister. I realize now that I have taken this for granted and trusted that we would all be together for a long time to come.
That changed last year while I was away on holidays. I received a text that my oldest brother had been hospitalized and was being scheduled for emergency quadruple by-pass surgery. It finally struck me, all those thousands of miles away, that there won’t always be the six of us. And while we keep in contact and visit back and forth, I have rarely told my siblings the important things I want them to know. Do they know how much they are loved? Do my older brothers and sister know how I looked up to them when I was growing up? I have never told any of my siblings what an impact they have had on my life or how much I enjoy being with them.
My husband also comes from a family of six siblings. We spent last week-end at his brother-in-law’s hospital bedside as he battles cancer. As relatives came in and out to visit, all of us knowing it could be our last conversation with him, I realized that we have neglected to make sure my husband’s extended family knows how important they are to us. As his sister introduced my husband to visitors as her “baby brother”, I was reminded of how each of his siblings helped him through-out his childhood. Each of them contributed a great deal into making him the man he turned out to be. Their love and concern for him was shown many times. I wonder if they know how appreciated their actions were and how cherished they are?
I’ve come to realize how important it is to tell loved ones how you feel. I am fortunate to have people in my life who I love. I am blessed that I still have the opportunity to tell them. I will no longer take that for granted.
This Family Day, enjoy time with your loved ones. Ensuring that loved ones know how you feel... it's a good thing!

Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is always bittersweet for me. While I enjoy the flowers, candy and the other expressions of love, February 14th was also my Dad’s birthday. He has been gone now for over twenty years, yet the void is ever present on his special day. Valentine’s Day is the “day of love”, but for me it is also the day when I think of Dad the most out of any other day of the year.
When I and my siblings were growing up, Valentine’s Day was always a special day at our house. Mom planned Dad’s favourite meal and we bought or made him the “perfect” gift. He was always in a good mood on that day. We couldn’t wait for him to open our presents and have him praise us for giving him such wonderful gifts. Praise wasn’t something Dad gave out very often, but we could always count on getting some on this day. I recall one year in particular when we just knew that we had found the absolutely perfect present for Dad. Dad raised Hereford cattle and we had found a ceramic figure of a Hereford. Just as we knew he would, he loved it. He placed on a shelf in the living room and it stayed there for years. When he and Mom moved into town, he found a spot for it in their new house. After he passed away, Mom gave me that ceramic Hereford. I still have it and I can’t help but smile every time I look at it.
As we grew up and began to leave home, we always seemed to find our way back around February 14th. That day was as important to us as adults, as it had been in our childhood. Mom still made a huge meal and we still all tried to find the perfect gift. No matter what challenges we faced as a family or individually, we all endeavored to make it home for “Dad’s birthday”.
As he grew older, his birthday became a reason for the family to gather. Children, grand-children, nieces and nephews – the party seemed to grow each year. Dad always enjoyed celebrations, especially his own birthday, and loved being the life of the party. As guitars came out and piano playing began, he was the first one up on his feet and dancing. This was when he was his happiest. His joy produced some wonderful memories to look back on each year on Valentine’s Day.
Enjoying Valentine's Day - no matter what the reasons . . . it's a good thing!