Regina's Good Samaritan

I love stories about good Samaritans.  I especially love those stories when that good Samaritan lives in Saskatchewan.  When I came across the story about the deed performed by  Darren Bezborotko from Regina, I just knew I had to share it in this column.

            Two years ago, Juanita Ledoux, also of Regina, had a very ill six year old son, Owen.  She had taken him to the doctor several times, and tests had been scheduled for Owen.  However, his condition deteriorated to the point that she decided she had to take her son to emergency at the Regina General Hospital.  She and Owen began to walk to the hospital, but he was so ill that he kept falling down on his hands and knees.  Juanita would help him up, but she could not carry him and so they slowly made their way down the street.

            Darren drove by and observed Juanita and Owen.  He stopped to ask them what was wrong.  When he realized how ill Owen was, he helped them into his vehicle and drove them to the hospital.  After Owen was admitted, Juanita was received the diagnosis.  Owen had terminal brain cancer. 

            Darren and Juanita parted after he dropped the two off at the hospital.  But they each thought of the other over the past two years.  Darren could not forget the image of the sick little boy and his mother as they tried to walk to the hospital.  He had said a prayer for him at the hospital doors, and often wondered what happened to them and how things had worked out for them.  He wondered if the little boy was ok.

            Juanita also thought of Darren.  She didn’t know his name, but she wanted to thank him for helping her that day and for bringing such kindness and light on that dark day two years ago.  Last week, Darren’s wife Trish saw a story on-line about Juanita’s search for her good Samaritan and Trish knew the story had to be about Darren. 

            Within a few days, Juanita and Darren once again met.  It was a poignant reunion.  No one knows how much time Owen has left, and both Juanita and Darren were so grateful that Darren had the opportunity to meet Owen once more.   Juanita was pleased to finally be able to thank the stranger who helped her and her son. 

            Juanita feels this is an important story.  She wants people to know how one simple act of kindness can make a world of difference to someone in pain.   Both families plan on staying in touch with each other.  A new friendship has been formed.

            How different this story would have been if Darren had simply driven away and chosen not to get involved.  His simple act of kindness gave Juanita the strength to make it through that terrible day and two families who likely would never have met, are now friends and share a special bond.   I wonder how many of us would have stopped to help this worried mother and very ill little boy?   I hope that by sharing this story, Juanita’s hope of people spreading kindness and helping each other will be realized.

             Being a good Samaritan to someone in need . . . it's a good thing!

Jessica Cox

  Sometimes a person becomes discouraged by what life throws at you.  At times like that, I think of Jessica Cox and suddenly my trials don’t seem so monumental and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.  Jessica Cox is one of the amazing young people I have come across.  At the age of thirty, she has already accomplished things most people only dream of.  What makes this so remarkable is that Jessica was born without arms.  She has a rare defect which did not show up in any of her mother’s pre-natal tests.  Her parents decided at her birth that they would not feel sorry for her and that she would have a normal and fulfilling life.  Well, her life has been anything but normal -  because of her many accomplishments.

            As a child and a teenager, she was a dancer.  She learned to tie her shoes, write, type, brush her hair and do almost anything a person with arms can do, using her feet.  She has an unrestricted driver’s license and drives a vehicle without modifications, handling the steering wheel with her feet.  She pumps her own gas.  Jessica can put in and remove her contact lenses using her feet!  She was fitted with prosthetic arms but has not used them since the age of fourteen, finding it easier to use her feet.  She holds a Bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Arizona.  She has never let her missing arms destroy her spirit and love of life.

            Jessica is a certified scuba diver.  She holds a double black belt in Tai Kwon-Do.  But even more amazing, this incredible young woman is an accomplished pilot.  She flies a 415C Ercoupe airplane using her feet.  She is in the Guinness World Book of Records for being the first person ever certified to fly an airplane with only her feet.  She has a t-shirt she often wears when flying which says “Look Ma – no hands!”    Her accomplishments have also been included in Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

       Jessica works as a motivational speaker and has brought her message of hope and determination to twenty countries.  She encourages people to be creative and innovative, especially those with any type of disability.  Her slogan for her workshops is “Think outside the shoe”.  Her enthusiasm and determination are contagious.  She is a very strong spokesperson for the disabled. In her travels she has met many interesting people, including Pope Benedict, Harrison Ford, Senator John McCain and Ellen Degeneres. 

            What an inspirational woman she is.  Jessica Cox is a living proof that a person can do anything they set their mind to, sometimes by doing it in a different way from everyone else.  The important thing is to figure out how to do it, and then do it.  Staying positive, no matter what . . . it's a good thing!

A Moment Through The Fog

“That was my little girl,”  I heard my mother  telling another resident at the special care home as I walked down the hallway toward the elevator after visiting with her.  I had left her in the common area so she could watch television with the others before it was time for them to go to bed.  Her comment made me smile for a number of reasons.  First, “little” is not a good description of me, and secondly, I have not been a little girl for a few decades.  But more importantly, I had spent our visit thinking she did not know who I was and that her Alzheimer’s had robbed her of that memory today.  Most days she still remembers her children, but that evening she seemed to be searching when she looked at my face for a memory and for recognition.  Another reason her comment surprised me so much is that she now rarely forms complete sentences.  Alzheimer’s has made it almost impossible for her to find the right words for what she is trying to say, so it had been a very long time since I had heard her complete a sentence using all the correct words.  Therefore I was surprised when I overheard her comment.  As well, she spoke those words in a strong voice which drifted down the hallway to me, reminiscent of the past when her voice carried her words across the classrooms she taught and indeed down the hallways of the school.  I had not heard that strength in her voice for a long time as the disease has weakened her body and her words are softly spoken now.

I could hear Mom continue to speak and I started to slow down to hear what she was telling the other residents.  Then, on second thought, I decided not to; I decided that I didn’t want to hear any more.  I knew that what would follow likely would not make a lot of sense, as her lucid moments are becoming fewer all the time.   It felt good to hear her identify me and to complete her sentence in one connecting thought once again, almost like she didn’t have this terrible disease for at least a moment.  I didn’t want to ruin it.  I wanted to take her perfect memory, however fleeting, and her perfect sentence home with me to cherish that evening and to pretend for just a little while that everything was the way it used to be. 

I am constantly amazed at the puzzle that has become Mom’s memory, and at the holes and gaps that are now a part of her life.  As her Alzheimer’s progresses, we learn new things about this unrelenting disease and its effect on its victims and their families.  It seems that we are always taking another step in this battle we will never win. Her disease has progressed to the point where she now needs constant care and resides behind closed and locked doors for her own safety.  But every once in a while, her old personality comes through and reminds us that she is still there, behind the fog and the confusion.  Those are the moments we hang on to, even if, or especially when,  it means being called a little girl. 

Hanging on to the special moments . . .  it's a good thing!
 

Reconnecting Family Ties

 

     

I received a picture of my great-grandfather and great-grandmother, my father's maternal grandparents. I did not know a picture of them even existed until recently, when a cousin sent it to me along with a family tree which traced that line back to the 1600's.  It is an amazingly clear picture considering it dates back to the middle 1880’s.  The names dating back to the seventeenth century fill pages and each name makes me wonder about their story.  I wonder what their lives were like and what happiness and sorrow were experienced by people who fill the pages in the family tree. 

            My great-grandparents came from France to Canada with five children, including my grandmother.  She was a very young child at the time, and would grow up to marry my grandfather and give birth to my Dad. Receiving the picture and the family tree was very interesting to me as I know little of her family or of their life before they came to Canada.  They did not maintain contact with family members left in Europe and so our own family history has always started with their arrival here and what happened from that time forward.  My father and his sisters must not have known much about their European family either because they never passed down any stories to us.  I don’t think my grandmother spoke much about her birth country, perhaps because she was so young when she left that she likely did not remember much about it.  The only thing she ever told me about her home and the voyage to North America was how throughout her entire life she never forgot seeing the “tall, beautiful ladies on the English shore” as her ship went by that country (my grandmother and her family were quite short in stature).  This sight must have indeed impressed her because she was well into her eighties when she told me about that experience.  I don’t remember her ever talking about the extended family left behind.    

Now, a little over a hundred years later, that family in France planned a family reunion and made contact with us, their Canadian relatives. They invited us to attend and to reconnect with them. .  Some members of the Canadian family attended this reunion and the family reconnected after a century.  So it was that the family on the ship never returned to the land of their birth, but their descendants did many years later and were able to retrace the steps taken so long ago.

The relatives in France asked each family in Canada to submit their family tree, going forward from our grandparents to the present generation. Once the tree from each branch was completed, it was sent to France.  All the Canadian relatives received a copy of this family tree as well.  Amazingly, from this one couple there are now over one thousand descendants! None of us would have guessed the number would be so high. We are now spread out all over Canada and all over the world.   I wonder what my great-grandparents would think if they knew how their little family of five had grow to over one thousand strong in the span of only a century.

Family ties which remain strong . .  it's a good thing!

O Happy Canada

As Canadians, we take pride in being nice. We like that the world thinks we are polite and kind. It’s our image and we have come to think of it as a national trait.  I remember our Mexican exchange student telling us how pleased he was that he had the opportunity to come to Canada on his exchange.  The previous year, he had gone to school in the United States. He told us that “Canadians are so much nicer than Americans”.  We have all heard stories of Americans sewing a maple leaf onto their backpacks, so they will receive a better reception in certain countries. Stories such as those warm our hearts and reinforce what we already know – we are just downright nice.

Now there has been an actual study done which places us at the most tolerant in the developed world! (Did we really need a study to tell us that?) The study was done by The Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development.  This organization gathers information from analysis of social and economic indicators among its 34 member countries.  It regularly gathers and analyzes information which helps citizens and governments understand the successes, demands and challenges of a globalized world.  Each year, it produces outlooks, country surveys and statistics, as well as publications on many different topics relating to growth and development and to social and economic issues.

According to this study, Canadians have the highest community tolerance of minority groups (which include ethnic minorities, migrants and gays and lesbians). The average tolerance level is 61%, while Canada scored 84%. See - we ARE nice!  However, this means than 16% of Canadians are not so tolerant and I think we need to improve on that. 

          The OECD study also found that Canadians have the second highest rate of positive experiences (just behind Iceland). This includes feeling well-rested, being treated with respect, smiling and being happy.  Being well-rested and happy and smiling are indicators of a comfortable life style.  I think that is especially true of people in our own province, where we have a slower pace of living, less population, smaller cities and we take time to enjoy life.  As well, we are quick to share our good fortune with others who have not had the same opportunities and need a helping hand.  This has been proven time and time again with events such as TeleMiracle and local fundraising events.   Hopefully, we are passing those traits on to our children, so that Canada continues to be known as the nation of nice, polite and happy people.

As we celebrate Canada Day, it’s nice to know that there is an actual study which backs up what we have known all along:  Canadians are nice people.

            Happy Canada Day!