Ready To Fly

“Excuse me, I think I am supposed to be dancing with my daughter”, the tall panic-stricken man explained to my friend after he almost knocked her over in his frantic search for his daughter.   He looked around and realized that the high school graduates were still dancing with their escorts and that the graduates/parents dance had not yet started.  He relaxed a little, content in the knowledge that he had not, in fact, ruined his daughter’s graduation night by not being at the right place at the right time.

 Those of you who have attended a small town grad will understand the panic the father was in.  Last Friday, I was in a nearby small town, attending my husband’s nephew’s graduation.  With only twenty or so graduates, smaller high school graduations are heavy on tradition and sentimentality, from the slide show in which each student is showcased from early childhood through grade twelve to each graduate walking off the stage to present their mother with a rose, the tears flow easily and family pride is evident. 

            A couple songs later, it was time for the graduates/parents dance and the father who had bulldozed his way over my friend, stepped onto the dance floor to claim his daughter.  As I watched them dancing, I couldn’t help but smile.  It was evident in the easy way they danced and laughed together that they were very close.  It was also evident that they had danced together many times over the years.  She was tall and dark haired like her father and they danced beautifully. 

            As I watched them, these two people I have never met but for some reason fascinated me, I was quite sure that the Dad was a little shocked at the beautiful young lady in his arms.  He no doubt was wondering where the years went.  One day she was starting kindergarten, the next she was dancing with him in her dying days of high school.  I imagined he was remembering the first time he danced with her, likely with her feet on his as he guided her through their living room.  He looked proud and sad all at the same time; proud of the young women she had become and sad at losing the child she had been.

            Throughout the province during the months of May and June, this scene will be replayed in every small town as communities gather to acknowledge the accomplishments of their graduates and celebrate their success.  There is something to be said for small graduating classes.  Most of the students have been together since kindergarten in the same school that their parents attended.  Many are related to each other.  There is a closeness in these classes which is impossible in larger city schools.  Because of the small number of students, the ceremony itself focuses on each student individually and each has his or her time to shine.  Whether you know all the students or only one, by the end of the evening you feel connected to all of them and have likely shed a tear or two with them. 

            For families of high school graduates this is a bittersweet time.  Enjoy the celebrations, reminisce, laugh and cry, then set your graduate free to take on the world.  You have been preparing them for this for the past eighteen years - job well done.

          Celebrating with our graduates  . . .  it’s a good thing!

 

 

 

How Many Things Make You Happy?

What makes you happy?  How many things are you happy about?  Barbara Ann Kipfer knows exactly how many things she is happy about: 14,000 (and growing)!  She knows, because throughout her the first forty years of her life, she wrote them down and kept track of everything, big and small, that made her happy.

Barbara Ann Kipfer is from Connecticut and holds a PhD in Linguistics, a PhD in Archaeology, a PhD in Buddhist Studies and in Physical Education.  With all her accomplishments and successes, the thing Dr. Kipfer is most proud of is her book “14,000 Things To Be Happy About”.   The book, and now her website, was created from a small spiral notebook she started writing in during her sixth grade.  In her little notebook, she made a list of things that made her happy.  As her list grew, she replaced the notebook with larger notebooks and finally graduated to a computer.  She kept adding to her list for twenty years!  Her list grew to 14,000 happy things.  \

This list was published into a book.  It has sold over a million copies and has been the topic of many page-a-day calendars.  The entire book is made up of her lists – page after page of things that made Barbara Ann Kipfer happy through her childhood, her teen-age years and eventually adulthood. 

Barbara Ann Kipfer intrigues me.  What would give a six-grade student the idea to keep such a list?  Why would she keep her adding to her list, keeping all her old books through her childhood and as an adult?  What an interesting concept: keeping a list of things that make you happy!  I wonder if the twelve-year-old child who started keeping a record of her happy things ever thought in her wildest dreams that her lists would one day be a best-selling book?  She is obviously an intelligent woman and is very well educated, yet she believes that being happy is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  She lives her life acknowledging the things which please her.  In fact, she continues to this day – 45 years after she began her first book of lists – to keep a notebook of things to be happy about.  Her list has grown to more than 132,000 things!

Interestingly, the author says that she now uses her own list to cheer herself up on a "gray day" or when she wants to plan a fun thing with her son. Barbara Ann Kipfer has been quoted as saying:  "Happiness comes from noticing and enjoying the little things in life".    I think she is right.  If we dwell on the dark things in our lives, we will not find happiness or contentment.  If we think about things that cheer us up and delight us, life is much more pleasant.  What would you include on your list of things that make you happy?  Reminding ourselves of the things that make us happy . . . it’s a good thing!

Mother's Day

I hope that your Mother’s Day is special, whether you are a mother or a child – or both. It is important to celebrate the love we feel and the bond we have. Every daughter has that special connection with her mother, but for some people, it goes beyond the mother-daughter bond. Sometimes, mothers and daughters are each other's best friends. When you think about it, who could be a more perfect friend than your mother?  She has to love you, no matter what because she is, after all, your mother.  If you enjoy each other’s company, then that’s a bonus.

I enjoy going to events or shopping, and seeing mothers and daughters out having fun together. I think it is wonderful when I hear someone say they call their Mom several times a day, because they have so much to say to each other. Those fortunate women who develop a friendship with their mothers have the best of all worlds - they have a mother with her unconditional love and support, and a friend who is fun to be with and shares the same interests, all in one person. Some relationships remain strictly mother-daughter and that is fine. However, the truly lucky daughters are the one who have the good fortune of being best friends with their mom.

Many sons are also best friends with their mothers.  They feel secure in sharing thoughts and feelings and asking questions, knowing without a doubt that all will be kept confidential.  That’s just what mothers do.  And sometimes Moms can even help to explain to their sons that complicated female who seems to be such a mystery to so many men. 

No one knows us as well as our mothers.  They know our fears, our hopes, our strengths and weaknesses.  They have watched us develop into the adults we are today.  In fact, they have greatly influenced who we have developed into. 

I look forward to spending time with my children this Sunday.  It seems that life gets so busy, we sometimes forget to just enjoy each other’s company.  That’s why I think it is so important to slow down and enjoy Mother’s Day.

If you are a mother, I hope you have the opportunity to spend the day with your children, whether they are still living with you or grown up and live away.  If you don’t have children, make sure you spend time with your own Mom.  This is a day for putting everything else on hold and for cherishing that special bond between mothers and children.  Remembering Mom on Mother’s Day . . .  it’s a good thing!